My First Legitimate Post

Im no good at introductions or writing long form content, so I don’t exactly know why I added a blog to my website…. MOVING ON.

I suppose I could tell you about some of my dreams I remember in detail.

!!!⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠!!! This blog post contains discussions and descriptions of blood, extreme pain, needles, and hallucinations! proceed at your own risk!

This one’s recent:

I WAS INJECTED WITH DEER BLOOD 🎉

I was going about my day, you know, normal dream nonsense. I hear we’re going into the city! Naturally im excited about this because I live in the suburbs and theres exactly jack shit to do here. (except for fly and shoot lasers out of your eyes because it’s a dream of course) now, im in the car and we’re driving through this huge ass field. Up ahead I see two giant buildings. They’re hospital units. Why are we at the hospital? I get no explanation. Whatever. Inside it’s still massive (normally I wouldn’t have to specify but my brain reaaally likes non-euclidean spaces) and im in a waiting room (it looks more like a lab but I don’t think asking questions is going to help here) for an unspecified amount of time.

When they take me into the back rooms I start asking questions. I thought this was going to be an average doctor’s visit. Turns out they’re injecting me with DEER BLOOD 🎉

THE NEXT FEW HOURS ARE THE MOST PAINFUL HOURS OF MY LIFE

I was hallucinating intensely. Everything was the wrong color and I was in such extreme pain that it felt like the very atoms in my body were being pulled apart. Wowee! I don’t know how I survived that but at some point I was begging for mercy. They injected me with another mysterious substance (not deer blood this time 🎉) and the weird effects of the blood faded. I was fine! What the fuck! This is some Paul Atreides type shit! am I Bene Gesserit or something? Wheres my sick ass powers from being tortured?

So from this they came to a conclusion. “okay so youre actually a god so we’re gonna put you through this digital training program”

man, i was not far off.

I spent the rest of the dream walking around a city or something like that. Also, there was a really hot barista. The End.